Have You Ever Lost A Friend … and Never Known Why?

2 min readNov 27, 2023
Photo by Gabriel on Unsplash

Has anyone ever lost a friend without ever knowing why? Lately, I seem to have lost several friends and I cannot fathom the reason.

Maybe it’s not about me — but it’s very hard to not think that when it’s me they’ve abandoned.

After the years we’ve spent as friends, now there’s nothing? That burns deep, as if you’ve doused me with acid.

I’m angry with you, because I thought our friendship meant something to both of us.

Did I say or do something that hurt you? I never would have done that on purpose. I wish you would talk to me. I’ve asked, sometimes more than once, but I only get howling silence.

I know I make mistakes and I’m not perfect — but, are you?

I’ve come to realize that I may never know — was it someone whispering poison in your ear? You should’ve known me better by now, to only hear and believe one side.

Maybe I am an asshole at times, and I’m willing to admit it — but we can’t fix this if you decide to fade from my life.

These speculations only torture me, because those friends from my past never respond. As much as it hurts now, I will always cherish the time we had, and I appreciate the friends I have now who are still in my life.

But, it makes me wonder — when will someone else drop out of my life? Making friends at my age is harder, and it seems keeping them is a mystery at times.

Does anyone have the answer?




This is what I do: I drink and I write things.